Youth Violence Prevention - Information for Parents

If your child tells you that something is wrong, listen. Bullying is serious, and it hurts kids everyday.

In a survey taken at the 2004 Herkimer County Youth Summit:

• 77% indicated they have been a victim of bullying and/or harassment
• 92% reported that they have been a witness to bullying and/or harassment in their school.
• 84% indicated that bullying and harassment are serious problems in their middle school.
• 58% of the youth surveyed reported that bullying and/or harassment of youth are serious problems in their elementary and high school.
• 64% indicated that they were the perpetrator.

Bullying…

• Is intentional harm-doing
• Is repeated over time
• Involves an imbalance of power

Bullying behaviors include …

• Pushing, shoving and other physically aggressive acts
• Spreading gossip and harmful rumors
• Social Exclusion
• Teasing and name-calling

Stop Bullying Now! Visit www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov to find out more about bullying and what can be done to stop it.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, remember to support your child, inform others and take action.

• First, focus on your child. Be supportive and gather information about the bullying. Tell your child you are concerned about him or her and ask questions.

• Contact your child's teacher and/or principal. He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school. Ask the teacher to talk to other adults who interact with your child at school to see if they have observed students bullying your child.

• If you know your child is being bullied, take quick action. There is nothing worse than doing nothing, and bullying can have serious effects

What do I do if my Child is Bullying Others?

• Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously and will not tolerate this behavior.

• Develop clear and consistent rules within your family for your children’s behavior.

• Build on your child’s talents by encouraging him or her to get involved in pro-social activities (such as clubs, music lessons, non-violent sports)

• Share your concerns with your child’s teacher, guidance counselor and/or principal.

• If you and/or your child need additional help, talk with a school counselor or mental health professional.

Source: Stop Bullying Now!

Stop Bullying Now! Fact Sheets

Warning Signs That A Child is Being Bullied (PDF File)

Children Who Bully (PDF File)

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Listen to Your Child

Research suggests that spending at least 15 minutes a day listening and talking to your child is an effective way to promote healthy childhood development and prevent problem behaviors such as bullying and youth violence.

Source: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

View SAMHSA Brochure: Take Action on Bullying (PDF) and learn how to communicate with your child about this serious issue.

Youth Violence

Anger and frustration experienced by teens can often result in conflict and violence. It is important to help your child recognize when he/she is feeling overwhelmed and out of control, and to help them to respond in a calm and rational manner.

What Parents Can Do to Help Prevent Youth Violence*

• Give your children consistent love and attention. Every child needs a strong, loving, relationship with a parent or other adult to feel safe and secure and to develop a sense of trust.

• Communicate openly with your children, and encourage them to talk about all aspects of their lives: school, social activities, and their interests and concerns. Listen respectfully and solicit their opinions. Then, if a problem or crisis arises, they will be more likely to come to you.

• Set clear standards for your children's behavior, and be consistent about rules and discipline. Involve your children in the setting of rules whenever possible, and discuss the reasons for rules with them. Make sure they understand what you expect and the consequences for disobedience, and then enforce rules consistently.

• Make sure your children are supervised. Insist on knowing where your children are at all times and who their friends are. Try to get to know their friends' parents and your children's teachers. Encourage your children to participate in supervised after-school activities such as sports teams, tutoring programs, or organized recreation.

• Promote peaceful resolutions to conflict by being a good role model. Deal with conflict at home calmly, considerately and quickly and manage your anger without violence. Talk with your children about handling disagreements, and help your children learn how to examine and find non-aggressive solutions to problems.

• Talk to your children about the consequences of drug and weapon use, gang participation, and violence. If you own firearms, make sure that they are unloaded, locked up, and inaccessible to children. Other dangerous weapons should also be kept out of the reach of children.

• Try to limit your children's exposure to violence in the media. Monitor the programs your children watch, the music they listen to, and the video games they play. Take time to watch television programs with your children and discuss any violence with them.

• Try to limit your children's exposure to violence in the home or community. Work toward making your home a safe, nonviolent place, and always discourage violent behavior or hostile, aggressive arguments between family members. If the people in your home physically or verbally hurt and abuse each other, get help from a psychologist or counselor in your community. If your children are exposed to violence in the street, at school, or at home, they may need help in dealing with these frightening experiences.

• Take the initiative to make your school and community safer. Join up with other parents, through school and neighborhood associations, religious organizations, civic groups, and youth activity groups. Talk together about your concerns about youth in the community, including issues related to alcohol, drugs, and violence, and share your common parenting concerns. Support the development and implementation of school and community plans to address the needs of youth.

*This information is taken from the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center,
www.safeyouth.org.

Researchers have identified a number of warning signs that suggest that a child may be at risk for violent behavior. Visit http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/yvwarning.asp to learn more about these warning signs and other valuable information.

Parent Participation Helps Prevent Youth Violence

When you take an interest in school work, participate in school events, teach your children how to manage anger, or talk with your children about rules at school and home, you are helping to provide alternatives to violence. GET INVOLVED AND STAY INVOLVED WITH YOUR CHILD . For tips on how to talk with your child about violence and other serious issues, visit www.talkingwithkids.org.

When anger becomes a chronic problem for someone in the family, the issue may be larger than you or your teen can manage. There are a number of local resources (see contacts section of this website) that are available to help you or your child with issues related to anger, conflict resolution, and violence.