Bullying Prevention Information

For Late Elementary/Middle School Students

Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose.

The person being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Usually, bullying happens over and over.

Bullying can be:

• Hitting, kicking, shoving and other physical kinds of bullying
• Taunting, teasing and name-calling
• Spreading rumors about others
• Excluding or ignoring others in a mean way
• Taking money or other belongings
• Sending mean e-mails or notes

What should you do if you are bullied?

• Tell your parents. Your parents can help stop the bullying.
• If you are bullied at school, tell your teacher, school counselor, or principal.
• Write down what happened, where and when it happened, and who bullied you. Telling is not tattling.
• If you are nervous about talking with an adult at school, ask a friend or a parent to go with you.
• Try not to show anger or fear. People who bully like to see that they can upset you.
• Don’t fight back.
• Calmly tell the person to stop…. or say nothing and then walk away.

What can you do if you know someone who is being bullied?

Nobody likes being picked on. It can make you feel like you’re all alone. So if you see it happening to someone else,

be their friend and let them know they are not alone.

This information is taken from a bullying prevention campaign called Take A Stand. Lend A Hand. Stop Bullying Now!

Visit www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov to find out more about bullying and what can be done to stop it. This website includes

animated stories of young people who deal with bullying in and around a middle school.

For High School Students

Bullying involves a person or group repeatedly trying to harm someone who is weaker

or more vulnerable. It can involve hitting, threatening, intimidating, teasing, name-calling,

making sexual remarks, stealing or damaging property, spreading rumors and social exclusion.

Bullying can make teens feel anxious and tense. It can affect their self-esteem. It can affect

concentration and attendance in school. In extreme cases, bullying can have severe consequences.

It can cause depression and social isolation, and may even cause heightened fear and rage.

If you are being bullied…

• Talk to your parents or an adult you can trust, such as a teacher, parent, or principal.
• Stay calm, respond firmly, or say nothing and walk away. Use humor to diffuse the situation.
• Try to make friends with other students.
• Avoid situations where bullying can happen.
• If necessary, take steps to rebuild your self-confidence. Explore new interests and develop new talents and skills.
• DO NOT resort to violence.

If you know someone who is being bullied …

• Refuse to join in.
• Attempt to defuse bullying situations before they happen by diverting attention away from the victim. DO NOT place yourself at risk.
• If you can do so without risk to your own safety, get a teacher, parent, or other responsible adult to come help immediately.
• Offer support to bullied teens when you witness bullying. For example, help them up or offer a kind word of support or condolence.
• Encourage the bullied teen to talk with parents or a trusted adult. Go with them if you have to, or report the incident anonymously yourself.

This information is taken from Facts for Teens: Bullying, National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. Visit their website at www.safeyouth.org to learn more about bullying and what can be done to stop it.

To view the complete article in adobe acrobat format, please click on the "Teens and Bullying" link under "Documents" in this webpage. Adobe Acrobat Reader is required to view the article.

Responding to Stress

Too often, teens respond with anger or violence when faced with the stress of everyday life.

There are better ways of dealing with stress and frustration. This web page includes information

and resources that can help you do just that.

Anger

There are many things that can cause teens to become angry and stressed:

rules, cliques, egos, hormones, dating …

The key to managing your anger is to recognize when and why you are angry

and then express your feelings in ways that make matters better, not worse.

Some tips to respond to anger in a healthy way include:

• Admit that you feel angry. You have a right to your feelings.
• Think the situation through calmly, and identify what’s making you angry.
• Ask yourself if the situation is worth getting angry over…be honest!
• Let yourself or the situation cool down. Then find the earliest opportunity
• to speak privately with the person whose behavior has made you angry.
• Express your feelings in an honest and forthright way, and be prepared to
• respond to criticism calmly.
• Give the other person a chance to explain. Show that you are interested in what the other
• person has to say by listening attentively, without showing signs of hostility.
• Make clear to the person what you are asking him or her to do to remedy the situation.
• Sometimes it is helpful for someone in authority to be present when you talk to the person.-You may want to ask an adult to be there with you.

Source: Treaty Program, Catholic Charities of Herkimer County

Sometimes your anger may make you feel like you are out of control. The following ways to get anger under control were offered by junior

and senior high school students from across Herkimer County.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME & SPACE: Remove yourself from a situation if you are too angry to be rational. Walk away and say you will be back when

you can be calm. (The same goes for someone who is really acting aggressive or angry towards you. You can always walk away.)

RESPOND TO THE SITUATION … not to the tone or the manner in whichsomeone is treating you. Try to look past others’ angry outbursts and gestures.

Deal with the problem. Later, let the person know that there was no need to yell, be sarcastic, etc.

SELF-TALK: Carry on a conversation with yourself. Role Play the situation in your mind, arguing both sides. Try to be objective about what you may have done

to escalate the problem; convince yourself that it is in your own best interest to calm down.

LET IT OUT: Talk to a friend, parent, teacher, relative, counselor, sibling, etc.Don’t keep your feelings inside, ready to boil over.

ANGER LETTER: Write a short letter (DO NOT MAIL THIS LETTER) to the person you are angry with. Write down everything you feel. Put the letter

away and keep it where no one else can see it. Keep it for a few days, re-read it, and add to it if you are still angry. When you have resolved the conflict with that

person, tear up the letter and make a ceremony of throwing it away.

ANGER SCREAM: Go somewhere private and scream as loud as possible, maybe into a pillow. Continue to scream; its okay if you start to cry.

When you are done, go for a walk.

EXERCISE: Running, bicycling, jumping rope or any strenuous activity will get rid of the adrenaline that was released during the conflict.

COOL OFF: Take a shower, jump in the pool. Relax. Lie down. Close your eyes. Turn off the lights and watch the fish in the tank.

Take the dog for a brisk walk. Sit in a quiet room and pet a cat. Take a long, slow, deep breath through your nose. Imagine your lungs

slowly filling with fresh air. As you inhale, tense your fists, stomach and leg muscles. Exhale slowly through your mouth, while slowly relaxing

your muscles. Repeat 10 times.

PROJECTS: Pull everything out of a closet and re-organize it. Paint a room, or a scene on a large sheet of paper. Cut firewood. Wash the car.

Source: Treaty Program, Catholic Charities of Herkimer County

Sometimes, anger does get out of hand. Very small incidents or disagreements

can lead to aggression, conflict, and violence. Many teens believe that when a c

onflict arises, they have no choice but to fight. But there is another way.

Take positive steps to reduce fighting and violence in your school and community.

What You Can Do*

• Make a commitment not to contribute to violence in any way. Do not bully, tease or spread gossip about others. Respect others and value differences.
• Get involved in your school and community.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs and the people who use them. There is a strong link between the use of alcohol and drugs and violence.
• Learn about ways to resolve arguments and fights without violence, and encourage your friends to do the same. Many schools provide training in conflict resolution skills.
• DO NOT carry a gun or other weapons. It will not make you safer. In fact, it may escalate the conflict and increase the chance that you will be seriously harmed. If someone is threatening you and you feel that you are in serious danger, do not take the matter into your own hands. Find an adult that you can trust and discuss your fears, or contact school administrators or the police. Take precautions for your safety, such as avoiding being alone.
• If you know someone is planning to harm someone else - report him or her. Tell a trusted adult. If you are afraid and believe that telling will put you in danger or will lead to retaliation, do it anonymously.
• Take the initiative to make your community safer. Join an existing group that is promoting non-violence, or start your own.

*This information is taken from Facts for Teens: Youth Violence, National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. Visit their website at www.safeyouth.org to learn more about youth violence and what can be done to stop it.

View the complete article "Facts for Teens: Youth Violence" in PDF Format, requires Adobe Acrobat – Download Now

Other Fact Sheets from the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center:

Facts for Teens: Aggression

Facts for Teens: Conflict Resolution

Facts for Teens: Physical Fighting Among Teenagers

Facts for Teens: Teen Dating Violence

It is very important to de-escalate anger before it turns into conflict and violence. Look for positive ways to reduce stress.

Put all that energy into something you like … music, sports, games, after school clubs and activities. Be productive rather than violent. Herkimer County CARES.